New adventures…again

Merry christmas to everyone, its nearly the end of 2015…its been a crazy year in which I have started training for a whole new career. I am now Dancer, singer, reader, geek and…..Student Nurse.

Yep, this happened, I got there after many months of freaking the hell out about passing exams, getting into university (My maths is, shall we say, challenged) Finally, the life plan kicked in, new adventures have begun.

As always, I am very bad at keeping up to date with the blog, but I am hoping to be able to track my progress. So join me for some panic attacks, some stress and hopefully a lot of growth 😉


Happy holidays! xxx


My Mission. Welcome.

Please head over to my friend Jasmine gorgeous blog, she lost her little boy last year and although it is heartbreaking she is building her life back up and building up to an art exhibition in November…go se her may cry..but damn it’s hopeful xx



Welcome to my first blog post here on ‘Flow River Flow’.

It’s hard to believe 4 months has passed by since we said goodbye to our precious son River. I know It’s not goodbye forever, but nevertheless it has felt like an extraordinary loss. Someone told me recently that grief is like the weather; one minute the skies can be sunny and bright, then suddenly clouds can roll in and the world feel rather grey and gloomy. This is certainly true of British weather, and true also of my emotions during these last 4 months.

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Fictional friends

This is a slightly strange post, I actually thought about blogging it as I was talking to someone on Twitter who loves a particular X-Men character just as much as I do.


This Character (Just in case you were wondering)

Image Her name is Jubilation Lee, or Jubilee as she is more widely known.( she is also copyright of the Mighty Marvel comics circa 1980’s till present)

When i was much younger (apparently, as i get older, my imagination seems to be dying a slow death,these don’t exist so much these days) i had notebooks everywhere,filled with stories and drawings of what my mother used to call “curtain heads” (literally their hairline at the front resembled,well, curtains) The stories were usually fan fiction types, using characters i already knew and loved.

Not always, i do actually have a list of characters who are mine mine mine, but i used to use my favourites in stories that resembled my own life. They actually used to do as i did…

I got VERY intoxicated one night…vodka was the choice….so in the tiny tale…so did Jubilee (Trust me, in that story,Wolverine was VERY angry as were a certain couple of parents on my end)

I had a bust up with a girl at college…and my other so called friend didn’t help at all…in the tale, Jubilee had this problem, and one of the other girls in the current group of choice was this so called friend.

Do you see a pattern here? Poor Jubilee had a worse life than in the comic books all thanks to me writing her into my problems.She was my diary, an accomplice.I have been told i am not the only one who ever did this…I think it’s a way as you are growing up to deal with things that bother you, or make you feel guilty by sharing them with your favourite characters. Teenagers deal with things in strange ways,sometimes they rebel, sometimes they don’t talk to anyone. And apparently in my case, they become one with fictional beings…imaginary friend anyone?!

I was obsessed with the X-Men cartoon from a very early age and of course the first person i noticed was Storm (how can you not, she had that theatrical voice over back then and it was all drama drama drama) I recorded the whole Phoenix saga onto VHS and slowly but surely became obsessed with the Wolverine/Jubilee dynamic while wishing i had Rogue’s prowess (and possibly Gambit for my life) This led to friendships with amazing people who also shared a love of Wolverine and Jubilee and an extensive collection of *cough cough* comic books that would rival any geek worth their salt. I terrify stall owners at Comic con because they don’t know what category to put me in but i challenge any of them to love Marvel’s X-men more than i did and still do. (Trust me, if they tried to mess with me over Jubilee or Dazzler particularly, they’d get a kick)

I don’t like how they’ve progressed Jubilee these days, i don’t relate to her as well as i once did with her now being all vampiric and all (something i think wasn’t overly called for) I have absolutely no idea why i would have related to her or wanted to be her when she was a mutant…she has had a hard life, was always treated like a kid but she always had a ridiculous amount of inner strength, and i think maybe that’s what i saw.

Jubilee was a great friend when i was a teenager even if she didn’t know it.

Well……she was as angry/drunk/grounded/pick another teenage issue and insert here as i was thanks to my penmanship… i guess she can’t be blamed really.


Found…and re posted..

I found this via a friend on Facebook..i know these days i’m not as much a working professional dancer as i have been for the last oh, i don’t know, 15 years plus but this is a great post, i love the girl who lives with dancers and loves it…


We’re all a but weird us dancers, even those of us who aren’t 18 anymore….

New Blog links

Good afternoon all,


Just a little note on 2 wonderful blogs i’ve added to my links list…

A wonderful blog from the mind of Khadija Badri, her sister Aicha’s is also there for all to see, have a gander at both as both Badri sisters are very intelligent creatures with lots of intelligent things to say.



A wonderful blog that usually makes my day a brighter place…



Once upon a time….

Once upon a time a girl lived in a magical place they all called Internet.The girl was intrigued by this magical place, it was after all a land of plenty, information and many new and old friends in one place.
This new land was scary at first, the girl was young, uninformed and was haunted by many strangers.
As the girl grew older, she learned about this land and adapted to the many things it brought with it.
One day, the girl discovered along with the rest of the land the newest addition…a place they called Facebook.
Facebook was a lot of fun for the girl and her friends, many new friends were made,games played, parties arranged, all was harmonious.
But the girl was soon to discover that it was a place where nobody held back.She saw things she didn’t want to see, hurtful things that once loyal people had placed upon their pages without a care or a thought for her own mind and heart. The girl was hurt by this because those people should have known better…

But she could change nothing. The heart and soul are strong after all, and they do recover…and after all, if the girl never experienced anything, where would her stories come from?

Happy 2012!

Hello new year, i can’t say i’m ready for you, but what can you do? My last month of 2011 was a bit of a bitch, i can’t lie, i didn’t enjoy it and i wish it all could have been different.
So what do you do when 2012 is already feeling like a bit of a struggle? Well, reading has always made me feel better…i need to get back on the exercise bandwagon along with those who have decided gym memberships are only for new year and not for life and maybe a glass of wine of two of course…
In 2012 i am hoping for new things, new experiences, hopefully new career moves…who knows what’s coming..but i don’t particularly want to sit on my ass and wait for it all to go even more wrong….